Nothing Else

Just a regular weekday for me; feed the cat, the dog, make breakfast for hubby and me, start the laundry. Working from home I take care of the office work and today was payroll day and I had just completed that with a morning run in the plans.

Phone rings, it’s my husband, he had just received a text; Linda’s mom. Oh no, no I am barely able to say with the lump in my throat increasing with each word. I had just the day before received an email including the information on the upcoming Race For Life. Impeccable timing I realized.

Memories of my own mother washed over me and tears flooded my eyes. I sobbed with the thoughts from her battle with Cancer and her unfortunate passing 19 years ago. I phoned Linda and her sobs pierced my heart. “I’m so so so so sorry” was my feeble attempt to express my shared grief at her loss. Words were minimal as she needed to get off the phone to take care of arrangements with her sisters and Dad.

Again I cried; for the years I have been motherless, for the life events I have been unable to share with the woman who gave me life, for my children and now grandchildren who either were cut short their relationship with her, or who never got the chance to be touched by her life. What can I do to bring honour to these women? What can I say to a wonderful friend and fellow runner who now knows the pain and heartbreak of loosing her mother to a relentless killer? How can I celebrate their life with my life?....... I can run!

I can give my time today and celebrate their accomplishments with my own. I can feel the wind on my face, the rain on my jacket, the puddles dancing with my foot strikes. I can push myself a bit harder as I climb up the hills and feel the freedom of almost freefalling down the hills. I can realize the discomfort of regaining my fitness after a month off from illness is nothing compared to what so many are dealing with. I can rejoice in the knowing that my life is rich in so many ways that don’t include the monetary.

With resolve, I changed to my running clothes, I tackled the hills, I coasted the declines, sweat mixed with tears, I melted into the moment, I ran. For you see, there was nothing else at that point in time I could do…so, I ran